I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
