Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
