he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i drank out of a bidet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
