I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
