She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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