Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think my moral compass just broke
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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