And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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