wat bout pragnant strippers??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
