Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
