I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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