If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
