we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
