Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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