Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
