idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
