Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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