So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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