Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
