its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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