please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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