It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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