I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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