Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
