Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
