U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
