Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
