What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
