Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just pee around me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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