I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
