Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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