Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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