I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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