NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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