the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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