Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
