hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
