we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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