So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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