I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
