remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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