are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
