I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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