It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
