My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my being single is dangerous.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
