Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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