she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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