do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
