I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
