Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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(514): View more from Quebec

take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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(214): View more from Texas

didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.

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(248): View more from Michigan

first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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(914): View more from New York

Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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(801): View more from Utah

He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"

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(630): View more from Illinois

I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy

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