He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
