I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
