Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
